


After me, how have you been, Mark Lee?

by peacezenie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, First Love, Growing Up, Heartbreak, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 23:00:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19755505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peacezenie/pseuds/peacezenie
Summary: "Sadly, Donghyuck was the only one being desperate, the one that took advantage of someone else’s emotion just to feel better about himself. That’s why he never addresses him as his first love, instead chooses to go with first ex-boyfriend."Or, Donghyuck saw someone who looked way too much like his first ex-boyfriend.





	After me, how have you been, Mark Lee?

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by my own sad life and it's also my first work here, so pleaseee be gentle with me :"<  
> Also, a thousand hugs for @acrazyworldofdreams, without her I might have never tried to bring "this piece to life" or it would be heavily unbeta'd
> 
> btw if you're an 00line enthusiast, check out @acrazyworldofdreams "The Illustrator, The Author, The Artist & The Poet" - quality guaranteed!  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/15937115/chapters/44949148

Donghyuck knows he's staring. Hard. At a complete stranger, his fellow bus user, whose face is conveniently hidden behind a black mask and a matching cap, right in the middle of a traffic jam. 

A small voice inside Donghyuck’s head screams at him to look away, to stop glaring holes into the boy’s face like a total creep, to not make a fool out of himself and save him from the embarrassment that would definitely arise if said boy noticed his privacy has been invaded for the last five minutes, but most importantly, to keep the memories of a certain someone from flooding back into his head. 

There’s something about the boy, maybe it’s his simple grey hoodie, his not too tall yet still so reliable frame, or maybe it's just the way he holds tightly onto the straps of his backpack, maybe all, but they seem so much like someone Donghyuck used to know.

His first ex-boyfriend.

The thing is, Donghyuck can’t put the finger on for why he even cares enough to stare. 

Yes, the boy reminds him of his first relationship. The rushed barely two-month long relationship with little to no true feeling.

The type of dating which happens simply because both parties are in too desperate need for a lover to brag about in order to feel like they fit in, you know, a typical high-school relationship. 

Sadly, Donghyuck was the only one being desperate, the one that took advantage of someone else’s emotion just to feel better about himself. That’s why he never addresses him as his first love, instead chooses to go with first ex-boyfriend.

Donghyuck knows damn well how bad it sounds, yet he has no other choice. The relationship was toxic. No, he was toxic. Donghyuck went on and on with his friends about how he felt like he was the happiest person in the world, how he wished this relationship would last forever, and how much he appreciated it, yet deep down all he wanted to do was to escape his oh so perfect boyfriend. 

Every good morning text felt like a fine ticket with Donghyuck’s shame printed in bold red. 

Every hug, every kiss, killed him a bit more inside as the boy gave him so much love, affection and care yet Donghyuck had nothing but guilt to give in return. Every date seemed to take more air out of his lungs, suffocating Donghyuck’s soul like someone trapped him into a cramped, no window prison room that just kept getting smaller and smaller, darker and darker. He cursed silently inside his head, every single time.

But what will come, must come. When everything became too much, when he could no longer live with the stinging in his heart and the knot in his throat, Donghyuck ended everything with a phone call. He didn’t even have the dare to tell him face to face. No explanation, no excuses, just three simple words. 

_Let’s break up._

“Tell me you’re completely sure about this decision. If you can do that, I’ll let you go.”

And Donghyuck hated that the most. His ex voice was trembling, even his tears were visibly heard through the phone’s speaker as they kept streaming down the sharp cheekbone that Donghyuck found unique to that boy. 

And yet he was still considerate for him, for the asshole boyfriend that just broke up with him three days before their two-month anniversary through a cold, heartless phone call. He was too good. Too good for this messed up relationship. Too precious to waste the most beautiful time of his life on Donghyuck. 

It was like the last straw and Donghyuck knew, he wasn’t just breaking up with his first boyfriend, he was letting the nicest boy in the world out of his life for a better person, someone that he truly deserves. And for the first time in two months, Donghyuck felt like he could finally breathe.

“Yes, I know what I’m doing and believe me, it’s the best for both of us.”

Considering how fast their relationship ended and his lack of feeling, Donghyuck never thinks he paid much attention to his first ex-boyfriend. It was evident in the way he had never recognized the taller boy whenever he looked for him in the middle of a crowd, only noticing him when he was already standing next to Donghyuck and tapping on his shoulder to get his attention. 

An unsettling feeling managing to rise in Donghyuck’s stomach every single time. Guilt. 

He never cared enough to remember how his boyfriend looked like, incapable of knowing the boy like the back of his hand, the way a decent boyfriend should have.

So as for why, why Donghyuck’s mind today is fully stored with said boy traits, how he can clearly recall all those little things that make up of him, all his deadly boring fashion choices that never failed to squeeze some big laughs out of Donghyuck, all his awkward yet adorable habits, all the detailed that Donghyuck never really noticed four years ago, all just by looking at a stranger on a crowded bus, he doesn't know.

Guess you can never really forget the first person that took those steps into your life, not because you once loved them, but because you learned with them from all your first mistakes as to how to love someone else better. Donghyuck can’t help a giggle bubble up in his throat at the thought. He sure did learn a lot from that short relationship. After the broke-up, he took his sweet time being single, enjoying it to the fullest, didn’t give single care of how all his friends were seeing someone but him.

Donghyuck learned to be patient, to wait for that special someone that would make his heart squeeze, his face blush, and his stomach fill with butterflies. He let the universe work its magic. And finally, he found who is his.

However, that giggle from Donghyuck startles a specific someone and he looks back, staring at Donghyuck straight into his soul. His surprised eyes soon turn into something warm, welcoming and Donghyuck melts a little inside. 

It’s him. Donghyuck silently screams. And if he wasn’t one hundred percent sure then, then the way the boy waves at him with the oh so familiar hand gesture and comforting crescent eyes, when he gets off at the station that Donghyuck has seen him got off more than a couple of time confirms everything. 

There are no words exchanged between them. Because they don’t need it. Because Donghyuck heard it all. Both of them heard it all. The silent conversation speaks for them.

_After me, how have you been, Mark Lee? I hope life hasn’t thrown at you any more sorrow. You suffered enough when you met me. In case you’re wondering, I’m doing great thanks to all the tenderness and consideration that you gave me in the past regardless of my stupidity. I’m glad that it was you out of all the people. I learned a lot. Thank you with my whole heart. And thanks to you, I found someone._

*

_Donghyuck, good to see you’re safe and sound. I’ve learned from you, too and I am equally grateful for that. You taught me that love cannot be forced the way I did with you. Young silly me thought that I could just keep you to myself out of responsibility, out of guilt and I can only imagine how hard it was for you. Please don’t think you were the only one at fault, or my sorrow was yours too, because I did as much damage to you, if not more. You may think I'm making things up just to make you feel better but I’m truly doing amazing. Believe me. Because I found someone too._


End file.
